I think I have some sort of mental health issue?
Crimson Gardener Asked: I think I have some sort of mental health issue?
I don't have guilt for my rude behaviour when they deserve it. Than at times, when I feel pleasant, I feel guilt for every thing even my existance.
I am munipulating, I munipulate others by caging them. Because I feel like it.
I get angry easily, and anoyed. If I get really angry I clench my fists untill they bleed and grid my teeth. Than once I am done I laugh everything off. Also I run to dark places. Like a bathrrom, and turn the lights of when I am doing this.
If I get disapointed I sleep around two days, and lose weight because I sleep alot.
If I get bored of something I toss it away, unless it has a variety. Once I think of something, it can never get out of my head. I even think of tourturing people I sort of like. I also think of my death alot, how I would exit the stage.
I think lifes a game, and destiny is true. That I am meant for something greater.
The person who was closest to me called me a sociopath, I sort of can't except that. She knew that if she became friends again with some one, I would hate her. Leave her. So she got rid of me.
I do have a lively future planned. It's sort unreal, but I want to own a mansion and land, and adopt orphans or foster kids.
If I fall in love, I just believe I am running away from something. So I don't.
I am really energitic and happy, and than I am really miserable and drastic.
I do feel digusted if I see something innocent being harmed.
I also feel that I can be a hero, and save innocent people. Than I feel like I want to be a villian, and hurt innocent people.
The more I try to figure my self out, the more I want to change. I never want to be bored.
I hate being weak, which is why I think I am so mean at times. I absolutely hate crying. So damn much that if I did I would cut myself. Punish myself for being so spoiled. I hardly cry now, I don't remeber myself crying. I am good a forgetting memories I dislike, but I feel that the more I forget bad memories the more my happy ones disappear. I am scared of that.
I clinged unto that last friend so much, I even tried to convince myself I loved her. The person I like the most, is the person who I want to hurt the most. I feel I need to take care of her somehow.
I think she triggered my madness. Others comments didn't matter to me, but when she said I was a evil person, I gone berserch for a week. I don't regret anything I've done. I regret everything I do, so selfish. I seretly disgust myself.